So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I love you. Go after that dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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