you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
