i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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