And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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