Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My hand turned me down
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
