Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
