There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
