She is in my trunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
