Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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