For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
