Screwed.edu
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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