why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
