Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
