its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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