He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
