Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
