Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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