I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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