cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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