I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
