Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
