I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
