I am spending my child support on dildos
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
