I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
