You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
