i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
