Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
