a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it glows. i had to have it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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