i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
