Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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