i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
