david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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