She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want to make out with him forever
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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