it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
ok first of all what the fuck
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
