He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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