Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
