My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
