I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
