i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
