Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
