out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
