So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
