His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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