Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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