Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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