a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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