So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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