I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
