I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
