He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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