She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
